I am a grasshopper
 Part two of a regression therapy case study by Trutz Hardo, one of Germany's leading regression therapists.
I had someone killed by animals once myself.
And the HS takes you by the hand and you are gliding along this wall of clouds. You are stopping before a gate now. And you know when this gate opens that you will be in the lifetime which holds the reason for the fact that you had to experience that spider death at that time as Jeanette with the aborigines. And when I have finished counting to three, you will be one day before the day which holds the reason for your spider death. 1,2,3. You are there now. Look at your feet to see whether you are barefoot or wearing footwear.
I am wearing sandals.
What other clothing are you wearing?
I am in Rome.
Why don't you tell me who you are and what you do generally.
I am the wife of a rich Roman citizen.
What's your name?
... (no reply)
The first letter is coming now, it's suddenly there, 1,2,3.
P
And the next one, 1,2,3.
I
And the third letter is coming now. And suddenly you know your full name.
Pina or something like it.
I will call you Pina for the time being, and perhaps the entire name will come back to you later. You are the wife of a Roman citizen. Are you very well-off?
Yes.
What does your husband do for a living?
He's a government employee.
How do you live?
Beautifully.
Do you have children?
Yes.
How old are you?
In my early thirties.
Do you feel happy in your life as Pina?
Good. I am a highly influential person.
What does your influence apply to?
My husband and our family are highly respected within the state government.
Does your husband hold a rather high post with a lot of responsibility?
Yes.
Pina, I will now count to three, and you will be in an important event one day later.1,2,3. What do you see?
I am in a kind of circus, a kind of arena, at the top where the people stand. I am looking forward to it, there will be some Christians brought in shortly. I have urged my husband to arrange for them to be torn by the lions. I am looking forward to it, it is sure to be fun.
Are there many people in that arena?
Yes.
And does this spectacle take place in a large circus? Is it the "Circus Maximus" by any chance?
The circus isn't that big, well, to me it doesn't seem that big.
Is this one of several arenas?
Yes.
Does your husband have anything to do with it? Is it he who gives the orders who or what will be brought before the crowd?
They weren't even people that I knew. They were simply prisoners.
And now you see the prisoners coming. What is happening? Describe it, please.
They are frightened, extremely frightened and some of them cling to each other.
And what's happening next?
Everybody is pleased and shouting that the lions should be finally let out.
What is happening? Are the lions coming out?
They are stopping first and sniffing the air.
What do you feel when you suddenly see these people exposed to the lions, and the lions pouncing on them and devouring or killing them?
Eager expectation, suspense and excitement.
Are there something like bets or wagers or something?
That's what the menfolk do, I got nothing to do with that.
Are you seated beside your husband?
Yes.
And what's his reaction?
Bored.
He might have seen it too often. Is it the first time for you to see such a thing?
No, but I like it every time anew.
Do you feel a certain appeal and thrill to see it? How many times have you been to the arena before?
Five times.
And the people around you, how do they react? Are they shouting anything?
They are cheering the lions. And it doesn't take long at all. The people down there are running a couple of steps, scream and fall to the ground, some of them are beginning to pray. But the lions are upon them in a flash and bite.
How many lions do you see?
Four.
Are they male or female?
Male.
And how many prisoners are in the arena?
Seven or eight.
Are they adults or children?
Adults.
Men or women?
Both.
And after I have been counting to three, you will be suddenly before the cloud gate again with your Higher Self. 1, 2, 3. You are now before the cloud gate with your Higher Self. And the HS leads you to the MOUNTAIN OF KNOWLEDGE and says, "Dear Michaela. From this mountain, you are seeing all four lives beneath you. You are overlooking your life as a grasshopper who lost her life in the spider's web. You are seeing the life as Pina in Rome who was fascinated to watch the death of Christians in the arena. And you are seeing your life as Jeanette who was thrown into the spiders' pit as well as your present life as Michaela. Tell me what do you realize presently?
I think I'd better leave aside the spider and the grasshopper since I suppose I really only served as food there.
Look at the two lives as Pina and Jeanette then.
I enjoyed the fact that other people were being terrorized. I even saw to it that such public events were staged. These people were frightened and I gloated over and feasted my eyes and revelled in seeing them that way.
Can you see now that you had to suffer a similar fate in your life as Jeanette? While not being killed by lions, you had to die in just as cruel, though different fashion. Basically you might be grateful to the spiders for having procured you the karmic balance, since the law of karma required that you experience this karmic adjustment. While not being thrown to the lions, you still had to suffer a similar fate, even if in different guise. The fear the prisoners experienced in the arena at the lions' approach, you had to feel in a similar manner with those spiders approaching you. The spiders were used to enable you to experience this karmic balancing. In fact, you may be grateful to the spiders who allowed you to finally offset your karma. They helped you to free yourself from this karmic entanglement. Yes, the spiders have done you a good turn, basically. Can you see it the same way?
Yes.
And now, what other realizations do you have? Look at those Africans who took you prisoner at age seventeen and who threw you into the spiders' pit. Basically they have helped you, since they allowed you to make up for your karma. And the chances are that the others who were with you and were taken prisoner with you were given the opportunity to compensate for karma as well. It wasn't by chance that you came to Africa, since it was intended that you receive a karmic settlement upon this journey for something that had transpired in the past - as simple as that. Can you see it the same way?
Yes.
The HS hands you a chalice now and says: Dear Michaela, this golden chalice holds a golden liquid which is capable of healing anything. It is also the drink of forgiveness. And it is able to give love and to dissolve feelings of guilt.
And now go to the spider first in your life as a grasshopper. Stand before him and say, "Dear spider, I don't reproach you for anything", or, if you'd like to put it another way, "I forgive you..." or "I forgive you with all my heart for what you have done." Would you like to say it that way?
Yes.
Say it then.
Dear spider, I forgive you what you have done to me at the time when I was a grasshopper.
And now return to that life as Jeanette and hand some of this drink to those spiders in the pit and say then, if you wish, "I forgive you all you have done to me." For they enabled you to experience your karmic balancing. You may now, if you like, forgive those spiders who have killed you and hand them the golden drink. Would you like to say now, "I forgive you, dear spiders, with all my heart."?
I forgive you spiders with all my heart.
Say it three times.
I forgive you....... (2x)
And now, knowing that all had to happen to enable you to attain karmic settlement, go with that drink to that aboriginal population who took you prisoner and who threw you into that spiders' pit. Hand them the drink and let them partake of it. And if you like, tell them, "I forgive you with all my heart what you have caused me."
I forgive you with all my heart what you have caused me.
Again.
I forgive you with all my heart what you have caused me.
And again.
I forgive you with all my heart what you have caused me.
And suddenly you find yourself before Pina who had feasted her eyes on human beings being torn to pieces by lions. And you now realize from a higher perspective that as Pina you were bound to charge yourself with blame and acted against your conscience by passionately revelling in others being killed. Later on, however, you felt remorseful. By developing a sense of guilt, an important process of understanding was set in motion. For in retrospect these feelings of guilt resulted in your striving to free yourself completely of this inner guilt you had loaded yourself with, when you as Pina offended against brotherly love by revelling in lions tearing human beings to pieces. As far as her inner love development was concerned, that Pina was very young. Basically you may realize that Pina - as far as her ability to love was concerned - is a pitiable person. In fact, do you think you could take pity on her?
No, not pity, but understanding.
On this understanding, could you forgive Pina her wrongdoing now, even though she took pleasure in atrocities? If you like, you may say now, "Dear Pina, I am handing you this drink. Drink from it so that you may recover completely. I now release you from all guilt that you loaded yourself with at that time."
Dear Pina, with this drink I release you from all guilt that you had loaded yourself with at that time."
And again.
Dear Pina ...
And again.
Dear Pina ...
And now go to those who have been torn to pieces before your very eyes. You are standing before them, handing them the chalice and, if you so like, ask their forgiveness by saying, "Please forgive me for having gloated and rejoiced over your being torn to pieces."
Please forgive me for having gloated over your suffering.
Please forgive me for having gloated over your fright and your suffering.
And all of a sudden you are with your HS again. And the HS says, "You see, dear Michaela, you have come to fully realize the connections and have become consciously aware of the things you had been unconscious of so far. And having gained this conscious awareness you may now free yourself of everything that has settled in your unconscious mind regarding your spider phobia.
Here, take this big PINE CONE into your hand. Now fill it with your fear of spiders, fetching it out of your inner being like a black mass." And while you're doing this, say three times over: "I am freeing myself of..." But do say it yourself what you'd like to free yourself of now.
I free myself from my abnormal fear of spiders.
And again.
I free myself from my abnormal fear of spiders.
And again.
I free myself from my abnormal fear of spiders.
And now this pine cone is stuffed to the hilt. And your HS kindles a fire of light before you and asks you, dear Michaela, to put this cone with your spider phobia onto it. And you are complying. And you suddenly see the cone dissolving, and you know that the cone with the spider phobia is changing back into the original, primeval energy of love. Now it's completely dissolved and you are feeling a sense of great liberation. A tremendous burden, something that was a strain on you and pulled you down has been taken from you. Yes, you are free from this spider phobia now and are able to say three times in a very loud voice, I am free of...
I am free of my abnormal fear of spiders. (3x)
From now on, your spider phobia will have vanished once and for all, for you have shaken it off for good. Whenever you see a spider from now on, you will keep completely cool and calm, and you might even take hold of it without feelings of disgust.
And the HS produces a STAFF OF LIGHT and wraps you up from head to toe in a white light of pure love. And that light enters, penetrates and permeates you. All your inner being is being filled with this total love. It is a wonderful feeling. Savour it. Charge yourself completely with this total love.
And suddenly you are in that bed of clouds...
Having come back from the alpha state at the end of the therapeutic regression, Michaela had to rush to the toilet. In the seminar pause which followed she walked into the garden to get some fresh air. She saw a medium-sized spider, took it between her fingers and put it on her face. The spider ran straight across it. Her spider phobia had disappeared and her therapy had taken approximately one and a half hours.
Half a year later I called on Michaela in her practice in Southern Germany. She told me that just the previous day she had discovered a spider in her window box, taken it between her fingers and put it out into the garden...
Copyright © 2002 Trutz Hardo
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