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The Nature of Reality

Upwinging:
an autobiographical sketch

The Nature of RealityAn article by Upwinger, co-author of The Blue Sky of Pure Consciousness.

When I was a child I would occasionally experience a dissociation of my conscious perception from its usual somatic hardware. To put it simply, my conscious mind would leave my body, sometimes for mere moments, other times for the space of a few minutes. Instead of adhering to this temple of flesh and blood, the indwelling spirit would upwing itself into a corner of the ceiling, leaving my body breathless and numb where it lay. At such times it was my distinct experience that the locus of my personal consciousness — the cognitive ‘I’ that normally functions as a cybernetic hyperlink between eyes, ears, and hands, thereby interlocking the senses with the mind and the heart as an integrated whole - was in all actuality a glittering electromagnetic cloud of wildly spinning electrons that was in no way bound to or dependent on the body for its continuity of existence.

This cloud, often enough adhering itself to the inner and outer contours of the material body — thereby both permeating and ensheathing the flesh with a conscious, interactive awareness of one's own localization in time and space - could also dissociate itself from its wonted 'man-shape,’ becoming a more or less diffused bubble of glimmering particles that was now free to voyage where it would, continually altering its density and profile in response to any environing contours — but always retaining a nonlocal, holographic unity of conscious perception and awareness.

In the case of my own childhood experiences of this phenomenon, my perceptual sense of self would first diffuse itself throughout the room, ballooning into an enlarged sphere of unqualified awareness, then condense itself into a tightly-packed globe about the size of a golf-ball, which would often enough hover in a far corner of the ceiling, enjoying its newfound lightness of being, the room below suddenly seeming rather exaggerated and disproportionate in size.

What triggers this phenomenon? I've often referred to it as 'meditating with my eyes open,' but that phrase offers very little in the way of defining the technique. In fact, there is no consciously employed technique per se; it is simply a happenstance that seems to naturally occur whenever my mind is quiet and relatively free of the self-referencing qualifiers we call 'thoughts.' For when the mind is quieted as such, the personal ego fizzles out like a dying ember, but the individual locus of conscious perception remains. The amorphous cloud of whirling electrons is liberated from the illusory taint of the ego, and no longer leans upon the material body as a localized viewpoint. My disembodied consciousness is then free to traverse and explore the world in ways that its somatic vehicle can only dream. (In fact, I believe our dreams may be exactly that - our diffused loci winging here and there in playful interaction.)

Not having at all disciplined myself in this practice, I experienced the phenomenon quite often as an adolescent, frequently at inappropriate or inopportune occasions. I'd be in the company of peers when my conscious sense of self would balloon out and fill the entire room, leaving me speechless and wan. Though I was always gratefully stupefied at the wonder of it all, it would render me incapable of functioning normally in a social setting.

As this continued to occur more and more, I began to assuage the increased awkwardness of social events by retreating and distancing myself from any sincere interaction, which would often enough trigger the experience once again. Dissociating myself from the crowd, I became lost in myself; and my sense of self would then in turn become 'lost' in the room around me.

As I got older, leaving my awkward, but mystic adolescence behind me, I found I was able to focus and direct this diffusion of my conscious perception in ways I had never thought possible. Empathizing with another man or woman, to such an extent as to lose all thought of my own egoistical self, my perceptual locus would blossom into cloud, and then narrow itself into a funneling whirl which would then enter threadlike through the eyes of this person before me, thereby enabling 'me' to fully encounter that person's total experience of 'self’ - their richness of memory, their hopes, dreams, aspirations, their loves and desires, even glimpses of the pathway their past had forged into the future.

The invisible sea of atoms which distances us one from another crumples back into an enfolded potentiality - and with the distance parted, there remains no ultimate difference between myself and any other. The interference pattern I refer to as ‘myself’ trickles away momentarily, back into the unmanifest, and my locus of perception is suddenly and blissfully free to ebb into the evanescent rippling you refer to as ‘you.’

Not only have I thereby discovered the true conscious Oneness of the human condition, the singular World Soul that fills and sustains every atom of our existence, I have also been able to live through innumerable lives in mere moments, this whirling cloud of electrons I call my conscious ‘self’ always retaining the charismatic human warmth it discovers in the lives of others as it returns back to my body. Now it can happen in a matter of seconds: a glance of the eyes, a nod of the head, and my soul expands to embrace another with a permeating fullness only mystics and madmen have known this side of the grave.


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ruleThe art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.” -- William James

Keywords: nature of reality, belief systems, consciousness, quantum physics, spirituality and quantum physics, spiritual, spirituality

 
 
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